Don’t blame me if this column seems disjointed, ill-thought out and rushed.

It is.

My editor told me to hurry up because I have to edit some news copy. ... For Page 8 no less.

The Nerve!

After selling 1,002,400 copies of last Friday’s Times News because of my column, I would expect better treatment.

A personal assistant, a research assistant and a catered lunch every Friday from Cindy’s Deli in Lehighton would be a start.

My only responsibility, besides writing diner-chat-worthy prose, would be alerting the receptionist when the coffee pot runs low.

I’m even envisioning a corner office with my own Keurig next season.

But Noooo. I have to edit copy that’s buried so deep in the paper that only my mother will read it.

So let’s get this over with so I can get back to fine-tuning chicken dinner announcements.

No. 9 - Lehighton

The Indians go to Wilson Saturday. I have a good feeling about this one.

No. 8 - Panther Valley

Tonight, Shenandoah Valley at Panther Valley. Two questions: Does Mrs. T’s have a food truck? If so, does it go to away games?

No. 7 - Tamaqua

It feels like Tamaqua is on the verge of breaking out, but it won’t be this week - North Schuylkill rolls into the borough.

No. 6 - Marian

Marian at Line Mountain. How many Mountain schools do we have in this state? There’s Blue Mountain, Tussey Mountain, Pocono Mountain (the terrain is so vast up there they had to split it between East and West) ... and don’t even ask how many Valley schools there are.

No. 5 - Jim Thorpe

Salisbury must be tired of playing teams from Carbon County.

No. 4 - Palmerton

When the Blue Bombers are on offense it’s no time to get a hot dog or use the restroom; they are fun to watch. For the Palmerton faithful, the other side of the ball is almost as dismal as the rain Sunday on the final day of the borough’s community festival.

No. 3 - Northwestern

The Tigers have talent and aren’t afraid to mix things up - even had a freshman playing quarterback at times last week. But the bottom line is: Get the ball to Cade Christopher as much as possible.

No. 2 - Pleasant Valley

When is scoring 7 points better than scoring 62 or 42? When it results in beating a good team. After proving only that East Stroudsburg North and Allen are abysmal, Pleasant Valley proved it is good with a thrilling 7-6 win over East Stroudsburg South Friday. All the points were scored in the fourth quarter with PV trailing 6-0 at one point. The Bears are rewarded with a two-place jump in the rankings and get another cakewalk tonight in Dieruff.

No. 1 - Northern Lehigh

Now that’s how to keep the top ranking - take care of business.

Correction: The circulation director just told me that we sold 10,024 papers last Friday, not the number reported at the top of this column, and that it’s our lowest sales on a Friday in almost 10 years.