By PATTIE MIHALIK

newsgirl@comcast.netWould you rather have people say you look young or would you like them to think you are skinny?That was the question asked in a survey that generated a lot of attention on the Internet last week.The survey started in England, but once it hit the Internet other media sites picked it up and asked U.S. women to respond.Turns out it didn't matter which country ran the survey. The results were the same.Most women said they would rather look young.Twenty percent of the women taking the survey said they worry about how old they look at least once a day. Ten percent said they worry about it several times a day.I find most worrisome the responses to that part of the survey. While the survey didn't ask for the ages of those who responded, I think it must have been very young women who said they worry about "looking old" several times a day.I would think older women have developed better priorities and more confidence in themselves. When we get past a certain age we have the wisdom to know we are much more than our chronological years or the image we see in the mirror.I've always thought that wisdom comes when we're about 50. It's then that we think less about frivolous things and more about real meaning. But experts tell us the decade before that is a worrisome one for many women.The survey concluded that as women approach 40, that's prime time for worrying about looking old.I wonder why they didn't include men in the survey. Do men worry about how they look or about how old they appear?It's always been my contention that men aren't as hard on themselves as women are when it comes to their own appearance.I don't think I've ever heard a guy say, "Oh, I'm not going to wear a bathing suit because my thighs are too fat."When we talk about age as they did in the survey, the question is how old is "old?"According to one survey, when it comes to actually defining the age you become "old," those under 24 think 51 signifies old age.I had to laugh when I read that, remembering my own young thoughts about old age.I remember a high school picnic when I stood with my classmates marveling that my mother could still run fast at her age. She was 34.She became pregnant at 36 with my sister. I remember wondering how anyone that old could still get pregnant.Our perception of "old" sure does change. According to the survey, 35-year-olds don't think we become old until 60 while those over 55 think we're not old until our mid-70s.In the past, when I did my own informal surveys about age I found the same thing: the more people age, the more they advance the years they consider to be "old."I wish anyone who is afraid of aging could have the privilege of sitting with me at our weekly dinner dances. There are some pretty glamorous women at our table ranging in ages from about 60 to 80.But to me, what makes them so remarkable is not how they look. It's how much fun they have in life. They love life and it shows in how much they enjoy it.I found it interesting to read Internet viewer responses to the survey. One woman remarked that women need to stop worrying about the way we look and start worrying about how smart, interesting, kind and funny we are. There were 158 "likes" to her comments.I'll bet she was over 50.If I had to answer the question of whether I would want others to think I looked young or skinny, my answer would be none of the above.I think being healthy and working hard to remain healthy supersedes how I look.Like the rest of the world, my husband and I keep talking about "wanting to lose a few pounds."But I focus on eating healthy, not numbers on my scale.Like most people, I care about how I look. I try to dress nicely and take care of myself. But I give it minimal effort because, to me, life is all about much more than superficial looks.To me, life is about loving others and doing for others. It's about maintaining a positive attitude and doing more to develop intellectually, physically and spiritually.I work hard at play, if that makes any sense. Some call it exercising. I call it having fun. When my husband and I came back from our 15-mile-bike ride today, my hair was plastered to my head and I was drenched in sweat. But I was exhilarated.All my life, even when I was so skinny I kept drinking milkshakes to try to gain weight, my legs were fat. Like tons of other women, I used to hate my legs.Not anymore. Even since my surgery in January when I couldn't walk for two months then couldn't walk without pain for two more months, I've learned to appreciate the legs that let me walk, bike, dance and enjoy my outdoor life.Yes, priorities change with age.I don't think we need a survey to know that.