Joan Rivers, rest in peace. You did your job. You made America laugh.

I think I enjoyed Joan Rivers because she took many of life's truths and showed us the humor in them.When she asked, "Can we talk?" you knew she was going to tell it like it was ... with wit and comedic wisecracks.Joan: The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.Linda: I see joggers running up and down the sidewalk in front of my office every day. Nothing on their faces indicates they're having a good time.When you watch people running in a marathon, their faces are contorted into grimaces, and I think, if something causes you so much pain, why do it? If I wanted to feel pain, I could pinch my foot in my recliner when I put the footrest down so I can go out to the kitchen to get a handful of peanuts.Joan: I don't exercise. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor.Linda: Amen. And as much as I keep looking, I haven't found any diamonds on my floor yet. Dirt and dust bunnies, yes. But it's against my religion to bend for them. Although I will bend for fallen Martin's Kettle-Cook'd Potato Chips, Doritos and cheese puffs.Joan: On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.Linda: C-H-E-E-S-E-S-T-E-A-K-S.Joan: Madonna has just lost 30 pounds she shaved her legs.Linda: Madonna and me. After the long winter months, when the weather turns warm, to prepare for the wearing of capris and shorts, I have to take a lawn mower to my legs. I could bale it and feed it to the cows down the road.Joan: She's so hairy when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.Linda: Oh. That's where she got to! Ewwwww. That mental picture just wants me to poke my eyeballs out! I might not shave my legs until I can roll my hair in rollers, but carting Tina Turner around under my armpits is not an option.Joan: I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.Linda: Ah yes. The old "stomach covers the thighs" trick. My stomach is so flabby that I can hide 20 senior citizens in there to cross the Canadian border for cheaper prescription drugs.Joan: My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.Linda: My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat with a miner's lamplight because it's buried so deep he can hardly find it.Joan: You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.Linda: I don't know what she could possibly be talking about. Work is getting more fun all the time! My eyesight is getting so bad, instead of seeing words on the computer I just move the mouse around and hit delete in my own version of the game of "Space Invaders" and hope for the best. When the new phone rings, I have yet to figure out how to "hold" or "transfer." I'm hoping the "party to whom I'm speaking to" has a great sense of humor when they're transferred to India. (Just kidding, Fred.)And fun is getting to be a lot more work. It's a job to work around six busy schedules to organize a girls' day out with friends to just go to lunch. And when Harry and I want to go on an outing, even if just a couple of hours, our trunk looks like we're going on a seven-day vacation. There's warm clothes in case we get cold; cool clothes in case I get warm; lawn chairs; a cooler with water; a change of shoes in case I have to walk and need my orthotics; Harry's helicopters; and GPS in case we get lost (which seems to happen with more and more frequency). By the time we're finished loading the car and ready to roll, we have trouble remembering where we wanted to go.Joan: I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later, you have to start all over again.Linda: Hey! I think she stole that one from me! Hmmm. I wonder if I can collect on royalties?Joan: Had a friend who is going through menopause come by for lunch today. Her hot flash was so bad, it steam-cleaned my carpet."Linda: Had a hot flash so bad when I jumped in my pool it made the water boil. I threw in some lobsters, clams, corn-on-the-cob and had myself a clambake.Joan: I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.Linda: Hmmm. Wonder if that works on salmon?Joan: Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.Linda: Joan, you were never afraid to laugh at yourself. And in doing so, we laughed right along with you. I'm so glad I didn't miss out on being able to enjoy the century's Queen of Jokes. You're going to be a tough act to follow.I can hear you now in heaven, critiquing St. Peter's and the angels' robes and sitting next to God asking, "Can we talk?"