I receive quite a few emails from readers. Some folks send me funny stories and reprinted articles. I'm sure they think that I can use them in this column.
But most of the time, I can't. Copyright laws prohibit it.
Once in a while, an article will cross my desk that says "Use me! Use me!" I feel lucky when the article is attributed to someone who doesn't mind it being reprinted.
My college roommate Bonnie recently sent me such an article. I want to share it with my readers, since it made me laugh out loud. Everyone can use a laugh, right?
Apparently, a first-grade schoolteacher had 26 students in her class. She presented each child with the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
It is hard to believe that these were actually written by first-graders. Their insight might surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds.
1. Don't change horses until they stop running.
2. Strike while the bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before daylight saving time.
4. Never underestimate the power of termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but how?
6. Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
7. No news is impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a mister.
9. You can't teach an old dog new math.
10. If you lie down with dogs you'll stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust me.
12. The pen is mightier than the pigs.
13. An idle mind is the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke, there's pollution.
15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is not much.
17. Two's company, three's the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off until tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed, get new batteries.
If you would like to contact Dr. Smith, she can be reached at her email address: firstname.lastname@example.org or in care of this newspaper.