Trick or Treating was an exact science for us when we were kids. On the day before Halloween we visited all the homes in town. Then, on Halloween night, we frequented all the bars, more than two dozen of them in Coaldale where I grew up.

While we got plenty of goodies from the homes we visited, the real gold mine was the bars for a little song and a dance we were rewarded with Hershey Bars and other chocolates. And also money. Bar patrons were very willing to part with a couple nickels and dimes in exchange for a little song and dance all us trick or treaters were willing to share.

Today's kids don't trick or treat in bars. For one reason, there aren't that many taverns any more. And two, parents are less willing to let their tykes frequent a bar.

Tired of listening to all the rhetoric surrounding the presidential race? So, apparently is the owner of the seafood stand at Renninger's Market over in Orwigsburg. A large sign, stating "No politics allowed" greets patrons when they sit down to munch down a crab cake sandwich.

The only person who gets paid more for sitting on the bench than Alex Rodriguez is Judge Judy. I heard that one after the Yankees were swept out of the American League playoffs by the Detroit Tigers, and A-Rod completed another dismal post season.

"John Harkins was a good guy but how we disliked him when we were playing against him.....but afterward, after he beat us, he was a good guy again."

That's how one former Lansford High School opponent described the long time educator-coach, who passed away last weekend after a courageous battle with cancer.

There's only one word I'd disagree with in that statement. John Harkins wasn't a good guy, he was a great guy. And there are so few of them in this world.

John was a great husband,

A great father,

A very spiritual man,

A great coach,

A great friend,

A great educator,

A great communicator

John had a reputation in the classroom as being always in control. He liked and respected his students, even the ones who underachieved, and he showed it.

St. Katharine Drexel Church in Lansford was crowded Monday for his viewing. It was no surprise that there was such a huge turnout. John Harkins impacted a lot of people in a very positive way, young and old, during his lifetime. He will be missed.

Plan on hunkering down to watch two great college football games today.

On tap is Ohio State at Penn State. Can the Nittany Lions' impressive "NASCAR offense" penetrate the unbeaten Buckeyes' defense? It will be worth tuning in to find out, if you're not already heading up to Happy Valley to see the game.

Second is Notre Dame at Oklahoma. What will emerge triumphant, Notre Dame's stingy defense, or Oklahoma's offense that racks up points like a pinball machine?

Something's got to give. Can't wait.

Finally, here's some catchy signs that one reader sent along that will tickle your funny bone.

A sign over a Gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a podiatrist's office: : "Time wounds all heels."

On a septic tank truck: "Yesterday's meals on wheels."

At a proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On another plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a church billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door: "Push, push, push."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

And, finally.

Sign on another septic tank truck: "Caution this truck is full of political promises."