I love when readers of this column send me stuff like this. See if you agree.
Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then crap on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice? The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.'
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice? When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs ...'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth . . . . . .
With the 76ers not in the hunt for LeBron James, I didn't care what NBA team ended up with him.
One thing I look forward to each year is attending The TIMES NEWS Athletes of the Year awards banquet at Penn's Peak. Being around these student-athletes who have achieved so much in their young lives, is an uplifting experience. It's also fun to watch them progress in their post-high school careers.
My thoughts and sympathy go out to the 26 residents of the Eastern Comfort Assisted Living facility, near Parryville, who had to relocate this week because the facility they were staying in was closed by the state for numerous infractions. Some of those residents had lived there 15 years, and it had to be tough on them leaving a place they got to know as home.
It couldn't have been a very joyous 4th of July for the hundreds of people who were turned away from Beltzville Lake last weekend after the lake and picnic areas reached its full capacity by 9 a.m. Want to bet that 90 percent of those people lived outside the Beltzville area?
I wish they'd move the Major League All-Star game back to a day game, instead of showing it so late at night. Years ago the game was always played during the day, and to return to that format would allow many more youngsters to see the star players showcased.
One of my favorite activities during this heat wave? Falling asleep in an air-conditioned bedroom.
I think I drank more GatorAid in the last week than I did during the rest of the entire year.
I'm sure we had heat waves when I was a kid, but I don't remember them being this opporessive.
Who wants to bet Lindsay Lohan doesn't serve all of her 90 day jail sentence for violating terms of her probation. She'll be released on good behavior after about a week.
Finally, I'm rooting for Arizona to win its immigration law battle against the feds.